I'm a luddite!

It's confession time! I'm a reluctant convert to modern technology, I love to see all the modern technology and I'm awed by the amazing things that can be produced from something as tiny as a smart phone; but, if I'm honest I'm an old fashioned soul...

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This is my preferred method of putting my thoughts on to paper, I have quite a little collection of fountain pens and I use one daily. I use different ones to make sure none of them are neglected or, horror of horrors, dry up!

This is how my preparation for meetings, talks, Kid's Club, Café Church starts, it's how the first half of "Joel, an unexpected hero" was written. Its great for someone like me who corrects as I go, its so easy to cross out, add in an extra line indicate with arrows the change of position for a sentence or paragraph because whatever I do I can't inadvertently press an innocuous looking key which has the power of a Storm Trooper to delete, destroy or lose forever that which I have laboriously written.

However, I am actually writing this directly onto my little tablet, editing as I go (very carefully) because I've come to accept that in certain cases it is a ludicrous waste of time to handwrite something only to then rewrite the same thing on a computer.

This was indeed my first computer! When Ben was about five we visited a small museum while on holiday, it had (to my delight) a small but interesting display about the development of writing, scrolls, parchment, codex, pencils, biros, fountain pens right up to typewriters one of which children could play on. Ben  delighted the elderly gentleman (seemed that way then, now, not so much!) by innocently asking where the delete key was!

Our first home computer was an Acorn Archimedes. a large, unwieldy, stubborn and highly uncooperative piece of technology bought solely to access some language programmes to help Ben, it hardly used because it was so unreliable and took such a long time to set up, and ben really didn't want to be bothered when he could look at a book! My current is a surface tablet (generation 1) Its no bigger than an iPad but it does pretty much everything a desk top or laptop computer can do, the only problem is that its petite design makes the screen very small!

Where is this going you ask, (I'm asking myself the same question!) Well, I realise my reluctance to embrace new technology, my distrust of it and my negative attitude to it can be sadly echoed in daily living. How many times in our Churches have you heard the words "But we've always done it this way!" Like technology new ideas, new ways of doing things are challenging our safe, tried and tested ways of doing things. As with technology  we must embrace change, we must be willing to try new things and accept that what was good for the fifties, seventies, nineties, even the noughties is not necessarily good for the teenage years!

I'm not advocating that we don't respect tradition and I'm not saying that the old ways are all bad or inappropriate, simply that I personally need to be open to changes and other ways of doing things as I'm learning to technologically.

God equips us, He gives us the very best in order that we can do our very best, who are we to ignore or reject His offerings?

I'm a big fan of Dr Who's explanation of time, its a sort of timey wimey non-linear progression, it's not always a straight line! Well I'm not exactly sure that true but I am sure that timing and especially God's timing can be hard for us to understand.

 Waiting is not something I am good at, and its something that isn't high on Ben's list of achievements either, mind you that isn't helped by Ben's somewhat fragile and fluid concept of time where seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, even years are used interchangeably in a single sentence!

As children we can be quite demanding, we want it and we want it NOW! I fear that as an adult Christian, dare I say mature? my childish expectations  can (and do) rise to the surface, I pray, I tell God what I need, I ask Him to meet my need, and I expect my needs and desires to be met NOW! Sometimes, our needs are met and answered almost instantaneously and that is wonderful and exciting but more often than not there is a delay, a period of waiting.

Thirty four years ago I was working in Trafford as a teacher of children with Special Educational Needs. I attended a wonderful vibrant Church, I had a lovely flat, I was never out of work, but...I couldn't get a permanent job. For five years I moved from one temporary position to another, I had interviews for several jobs (even jobs I was actually doing at the time) but  never got the permanent position. My Church would pray fervently for me on the Sunday before any interview, the Elders would meet and pray for me during the week but inevitable I would have to make the call to say I hadn't got the job. many tears were shed, and not just mine.

But... on Thursday November 29th  1990 I received a phone call at the school I was working in at the time, it was a phone call that changed my life (and my parent's lives) forever, I heard a distant voice telling me that I had been approved to adopt a four month old baby boy called Harry; I was to travel to Bath on Saturday December 1st  to meet my new son and prepare to bring him home on Tuesday December 4th!

I was able to resign and leave my job on Friday November 30th because I wasn't in a permanent contract! I did indeed travel to Bath on December 1st (with my parents) and I met Ben. All the years of waiting, hoping, struggling with disappointment, frustration (even anger) suddenly made sense, God had known long before I did that I needed to be available to be a Mum to the little boy He had chosen for me.

I still struggle with waiting on God, I still get impatient and want things now but, I just have to look at ben and I am reminded that God's timing is perfect!     

I'm sitting at my desk, the books are overlapping, pens jostling for attention, glue sticks, scissors and  crayons haphazardly strewn across the surface.I'm musing on my first post yesterday and I'm determined not to fall off my gently rolling wagon.

I'm a little obsessed with punctuality, my Mum always said if you were only ten minutes early you were late. I can't bear being late and I suspect my propensity for arriving early is extremely irksome to many of my friends. However, when it comes to getting things done, especially paper work, letters, housework (ugh) I'm very much a "deadline" sort of gal. if I can put something off I will but when it comes to the point where I'm absolutely down to the wire I can rattle off whatever is necessary in a matter of minutes.

For someone who doesn't really cope well with stress I somehow seem to function best when my delaying tactics have raised my stress levels to the maximum. I waste time worrying about the past, focussing on what happened last time, who said what or did what  months and even years ago. I'm even more adept about worrying about the future I spend weeks running through all the things that might happen when I submit a form for Ben, I worry about money and what will happen if, when...so,

by the time I finally get round to doing it I'm really up against the clock and I have to buckle down.

 

The past is called the past for a reason, it has passed, it's gone, I can't do a single thing to change it, the best I can do is try to learn from it and not repeat the same mistakes. The future is even more of  a waste of time, only God knows what tomorrow will bring and  His Word promises me that He has a plan and a purpose for me, and that He is with me in all things and in all situations. Which leaves...

 

The here and now, today, the only time I can do anything about. The present is indeed our gift from God, and its up to us to unwrap it exuberantly, hopefully, enthusiastically, to live in our present abundantly and to the glory of our Creator God .

 I somehow doubt that I am alone in devising myriad methods of putting things off. If they gave out academic accolades for this skill I would almost certainly have earned  a master's degree, a PhD at the very least. I am a black belt, seventh dan, maestro of the art of procrastination.

Proverbs 6:4-14 has something to say about this, "Don't put it off; do it now!...take a lesson from the ants you lazybones...but you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up?"

The New Testament Matthew 24:42-44 says "Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming...you must also be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Putting things off  is not recommended! we none of us know what tomorrow will bring, or indeed even if we will have a tomorrow here on earth. Sneaking an extra ten minutes in bed might mean we miss the glory of a beautiful sunrise.

 

But...putting off resolving an argument might mean missing out on telling someone you love them. I need to bite the bullet and get on and do things, especially those things I really don't enjoy or find easy. I need to stop reading, checking facebook, watching TV to listen to Ben and engage with him there and then and not tell him,  "later". I need to play scrabble, listen to him play his ukulele, watch Star Wars! now, because  the opportunity may not be there for ever. 

 

If you keep saying you want to spend more time in prayer, more time reading your Bible, journaling in your Bible then do it, find the time, make the time, don't delay!

 

Sarah Anderson set up this blog page for me today, my natural tendency would be to leave it, say  "I'll think about it and do something next week", by which time id have forgotten how to find it never mind how to post something. So  Sarah, this one's for you!