Positivity

How ya doin’? Life is far from normal just now, as we keep being told, we are living in an unprecedented situation. We are locked down, locked in, locked out of our normal day to activities. Or are we? Remember school history lessons, remember the bubonic plague, that too was a a global catastrophe, entire  families, villages and towns wiped out by the dreaded sweating sickness. 

I am not belittling the impact this enforced isolation is having and I’m aware that I am fortunate that I have my son, Ben with me so I’m not alone. I’m also sensitive to the greater impact on the elderly who may not have access to iPads, smart phones, Facebook, YouTube and now Zoom to help maintain contact with loved ones and the outside world. When the plague struck there was no technology, very limited access to medical care and very little knowledge of bacteriology, germs, hygiene etc, and yet when the village of Eyam in Derbyshire found themselves infected (through receipt of a parcel of clothing from London) they made the decision to close off their village, allowing no one to enter or to leave, they somehow came to the conclusion that the only way to stop this pestilence spreading further was to enforce complete isolation. As in the current situation good, caring people came to the rescue, food, milk, ale, herbs were left daily at a safe distance from the village to support the stricken. 

We have been asked to isolate ourselves in our homes, we have been asked to forgo socialising face to face for a limited period of time (which will lengthen the more some people refuse to comply with such a simple instruction) in order to try to slow and eradicate the spread of this vicious virus. I cannot comprehend the mentality of those who deliberately flout these guidelines, congregating on beaches, in parks, having parties and barbecues. I cannot comprehend how they can live with the fact that their wilful non compliance might cause someone’s death and is throwing the courage and self sacrifice of key workers from all backgrounds back in their faces.

We have been blessed by some beautiful sunny days and spring is making its presence known, even from our windows most of us can see something to cheer us, blossom on trees, bulbs popping up, birds singing. Our damaged world has begun to heal, clean rivers, dolphins and fish returning to rivers, stars shining more brightly in the sky because of less pollution in the atmosphere. Even the ozone layer is healing!

This virus is brutal, many have sadly lost loved ones from its ravages and many more will do so in the days and weeks to come but I’m trying to focus on the glimmers of hope, the good news stories, the blessings that are being experienced at this time. People are recovering, amazing stories of selfless and compassionate people coming together to support the most vulnerable, schools providing fantastic support and encouragement to their pupils, authors and athletes and musicians making creative and healthy activities available through the internet. 

Ben and I took part in the nationwide clap for the NHS but we need to be applauding all key workers who are continuing in their roles so that we can stay at home. I know isolation may be harder for some than others but in the grand scheme of things it’s not too much to ask. 

I am aware that sadly for some being isolated puts them at greater risk than usual, not all families are loving or gentle, not all families will find it easy to feed themselves when they are all at home for an extended period of time. Even worse is the situation for those unfortunate enough to be homeless. 

I’m not preaching, judging or criticising, just suggesting that perhaps we can focus on the positives in our own personal situations. Count your blessings, jot them down, keep them in a box, notebook or jar and when this is finally over and the world returns to normal take them out and remind yourselves.

One thing I truly hope and pray for is that when we do eventually leave our homes, go back to work, school, church, meet up with our friends  and families we do not allow ourselves to forget what we have learned about what and who is important to our world.

Clutter is utter joy

This is my idea of joy, everything needed for a spot of Bible Journaling, creative playing, card making or indeed anything arty. I regularly have manic organising blitzes on my desk, sorting, gathering, coordinating, preparing my perfect work/play space. The trouble is my creativity seems to be swallowed up by my meticulous purposing of my many pens, crayons, pencils, paints,scissors,glues, papers, washy tapes...(I could go on, but you get the picture) I get everything perfect (at that moment) then get sidetracked and two months later my beautiful arrangement has done no more than gather dust. By the time I gather my creative juices and settle to use some of many arty products I simply think of a better way of organising my space and the whole cycle begins again.

I’ve shared in a previous blog my awesome talent for procrastination and I guess this is just a different manifestation of the same. I seem to have a distressingly well developed ability to put off, defer, avoid or plain ignore things on my ever increasing “To Do List” It’s a frustrating and annoying character flaw which I can’t  seem to break no matter how hard I try. Fortunately (or perhaps not) my eleventh hour, panic riddled efforts have so far always achieved what was necessary and its doubtful anyone else would be aware of my last minute activities.

I set up my new iPad Pro on Saturday (after a few mumbled, less than genteel  grumbles and rumbles) and I am proud to say that in some small way I have breached the hump! I have now written three blogs in two days so I’m building a little bank to share from time to time. I have become acutely aware that I am very much an “all or nothing” personality type. I either produce notebooks of journaling pages in a matter of weeks, write every day or I do nothing more than think about journaling or writing. I need to find the balance between feverish activity and sloth like inertia, and I need to overcome my phobia of “paperwork” (even the words make me shudder) I wish I could just deal with things as they come instead of my usual response which is to put it to one side to deal  with later. All I achieve is more and more sleepless nights  as I worry about all I need to do.

Let’s hope that my fairy footsteps back into writing lead me to becoming more proactive in all my daily tasks. Who knows, maybe my “To Do List” will actually grow shorter as I tick some items off and scribble “Done” over them with a big red Sharpie. 

Randomness!

Well, it certainly wasn’t the best of times, and she hoped it wouldn’t prove to be the worst of times, but she could possibly make the claim that it was the strangest of times. The dream holiday for her son and herself had somehow morphed from a dream come to true to a little bit of a nightmare. Not the monsters and zombies sort of nightmare, but the I can’t  believe this is happening, I’ll  wake up in a minute type.
The beautiful holiday cottage had become their safe haven, their den. A weeks holiday had now become an enforced stay, who knew for how long, but now wasn’t the time for moaning or being negative, now was the time to make preparations and an assessment of their situation.

First the cupboards, what a surprise, not exactly her idea of  nutritious ingredients but blancmange and chocolate were a start at least. If you thought about it they did cover a few of the main food groups, strawberry flavour for fruit and veg and chocolate contained dairy, that was two off the list! The fridge revealed a reason for celebration, bacon! She’d brought eggs and some baked beans from home so a veritable feast of protein,carbs, dairy and fruit lay before her.

Now, to include her son in the preparations, step one divert from the negative and look for the positives, she found the book of “Common English flowers” and together they went to look out over the sheltered garden at the back of the cottage. The hydrangeas were easy to spot and recognise, they’d been great grandma’s favourites after all. Ben was sure the other large patch of flowering beauty were camellias, she wasn’t sure but in the great scheme of things she thought botanical accuracy was less important than being together and making the best of things. Over the fence and across the fields they could see the mountains; majestic, imposing and so beautiful. They could live with waking up to this view in the morning, and going to sleep at night with them in mind.

She heard a voice and looking out towards the little lane beside the cottage she saw the farmer from across the fields, he had his trusty sheepdog with him.He held up a piece of paper, “Write a list of what you need and I’ll leave it outside the door later.” She swallowed down a sudden lump in her throat, and signed a heart with her hands, they’d be ok, they weren’t completely alone.

An afternoon of jigsaws, DVDs and a bit of art work and then suddenly it was bath time, Ben loved the huge roll top bath and spent some time luxuriating in the bubbles, a real treat as their apartment had only a shower. Leaving him eating blancmange and chocolate in front on the TV she too enjoyed a bath, a  fluffy warm towel and clean pyjamas were all that was need to settle in for a cosy evening, then, catastrophe. She could see in her mind’s eye where she’d  left the moisturiser, on the dressing table, waiting to be scooped up into the bag of toiletries. A momentary flash of irritation crossed her mind. Then she sighed, well, if that’s the only thing we’ll have to forgo it won’t  be too bad.

They made their way to their beds, warm, comfortable, fed, happy and safe. Now to wait for the resurgence of normality.
Jane

Look for the rainbows

Look for the rainbows! Rainbows are one of my favourite things in all creation, Ben and I always look for them if there’s the smallest hint of rain and sunshine. They are, as well as being achingly beautiful, a reminder that often the best things in life are a cautiously balanced mix of the good and the bad. 

Take, I cringe at the word, take dieting! I’m pretty sure that most of if not not all of us in this group have spent a significant part of our lives jumping from one unrealistic and unsustainable diet to another, our weight moving up and down in a way which would thrill a world champion yo-yo player.

We avidly sought the next great diet, the next guaranteed way to lose our weight and find that illusive beach body (FYI I always had a beach body, its just that mine was a beached whale!)

Then, Ben and I found  the Fast 800, and you wonderful people. The next picture is our starting picture, back in October 2019, I was 15st 2lbs, Ben was 11st 6lbs.

Fast forward five and a half months and Ben is now 8st 7lbs and I am under 12st (even if only by a smidgeon). I’ve  learned that there are three aspects to the little word “Fast.”

1) Fast, as in speedy, rapid. When you first start this new way of eating the weight loss is startling and so encouraging, sticking to your plans, preparing, unlearning decades of misguided (and downright stupid) information leads to satisfying rewards, both in terms of actual weight loss and the amazing changes that happen to your bodies. 

2) Fast, as in fasting, giving your body time to actually digest and utilise the nutrients you are now carefully putting in to it.

3) Fast, and maybe you can’t anticipate this one, but as in stick to, adhere to, staying on course, embracing this new wonderful way of eating and way of living.

This is Ben and I today, a pleasing amount of weight lost (hopefully never to return) and bodies we are no longer ashamed of, nor limited by because of countless aches and pains. We are still sticking to the principles, particularly our TRE which is generally eating between10:30 am and 4:30 pm, but we are now at a point where we don’t have a mini meltdown because for some reason we have to adapt. We don’t measure and weigh so much and we don’t really calorie count because over the last few months we (well me really) have learned to make sensible and now almost instinctive healthy choices. 

For my birthday weekend a couple of weeks ago, (65) we did deviate, we had birthday cake, we had cupcakes ( our absolute favourites from a local farm shop) we had a couple of meals out and we chose what we wanted, not what we should have chosen. News Flash! The world didn’t end and in fact my frustrating 12st 1lb plateau was passed two weeks later. This weekend we should have been happily settled in a beautiful cottage on Anglesey for our first holiday alone, sadly that was not to be so we’ve ordered from our local farm shop, we’ve got some lovely fresh food to cook with and a couple of healthy ready meals for ease, and we’ve had the cupcakes again, but, you know what, Ben’s just said, “I’m not that bothered anymore Mum, they’re too sweet!”

For those of you at the beginning of this new chapter in finding your new healthy you, keep at it, it works, and most important, its not a diet (I whispered that) because there is nothing you can’t eat, and there are no sins! Just revised and healthier choices. Welcome to the biggest group of losers, you’ll love it and your body and health will love you for it.

Just before I go, had to share this happy little soul, a quokka! Smile!

Jane

Mother's Day

On this morning mothers across the country are enjoying the delights of tea and toast in bed, bunches of flowers, boxes of chocolates, works of art filled with smudges and scribbles and hand-made cards telling them they are loved.

As the adoptive mum of a son, Ben, who is nearly thirty (his words!) Mother's Day is doubly precious. I love the beautiful notes that he writes to me and the thoughtful little gift (carefully suggested by myself) he gives me. I've even had the occasional glass of fresh orange juice and a cookie in bed!

For me, Mother's day is a two layered celebration because it is also a day in the year when I can thank my Heavenly Father for the most precious gift, entrusting a tiny, vulnerable baby boy into my care and love. I feel a bond with the likes of Sarah, Elizabeth and Hannah in the Old Testament because like them Father God blessed me with a child and made me a mother against all the odds.

Mother's Day is indeed a day of celebration, but, sadly, for many it a day which is far from joyous. Mothers who lost their babies or children (no matter how old), mothers who gave up their babies or children because they were unable to care for them themselves, mothers who lost touch with their children and long to hear their voice or receive a letter through the post.

There are children for whom Mother's Day is a sad reminder of neglect, cruelty, abandonment. Giving birth undeniably makes you a mother, it doesn't in my opinion make you a mum, it certainly doesn't make you a good mum. This leads to my final thought on this day of celebration. there are many women across the country for whom motherhood has not been possible, but who have, nonetheless been beautiful, inspiring and much loved second mums to many of us. I have personally been blessed to have some amazing and wonderful women in  my life who have been there for me, and now for Ben, loving me, encouraging me, challenging me and just holding me when times have been hard. These women are mums in every sense of the word that matters and their part in so many of our lives is invaluable.

Motherhood is not a right, but it is a blessing and a joy whatever form it may take. Birth mum, adoptive mum, foster mum. step mum, surrogate mum, second mum, grand mum! All have a part to play in nurturing, loving and caring for the next generation(s)

Look for the blessings

Greetings Bible journalers, its been a while since we’ve shared a blog and I apologise that this is being posted from my personal blog not the Bible Art Journaling Uk blog, it won’t let me in!

I suspect that many of you find yourselves now at home, alone or with your loved ones. It may feel somewhat alarming and overwhelming just now, times scales are to say the least fluid and there is really no way to know how long we may have to socially distance ourselves. My son Ben and I have begun our “at home”time today. We have food, cleaning materials, and  a safe, comfortable home (with a balcony if the weather decides to be kind.) We also have a vast amount of craft and journaling supplies, board games, jigsaws, books, colouring books, DVDs and our iPads. More importantly we have our Bibles and we have time, time to read our Bibles together,,,,,to pray together and to create together.

I have some friends who are finding joy in having the time to deep clean/spring clean their homes, decluttering, tidying cupboards, shredding old paperwork. I have to confess that domestic goddess I am not, housework is not a pleasure, merely a recurring necessity. 

For many people, used to the hustle and bustle and challenges of going to work suddenly being confined to their homes, alone or with their families is going to be hard. The daily structure and demands are not there, the conversations and banter are not there, suddenly they are faced with seemingly endless amounts of time. Also, for many alongside the understandable anxiety and concerns raised by this horrible virus they have the additional worry about their finances being overstretched.

It’s now that we as Christians need to look for the blessings, how many of us would have loved the opportunity to go on a retreat, to be able to “Be still” to sit at the the feet of Jesus, to wait on God or spend time with the Holy Spirit. Well, now we can! We can listen to worship music, we can read our Bibles more and immerse ourselves in the promises of God, we can journal; our thoughts and concerns and the promises we are standing on. You can tell Bible stories to your children, or get them to tell them to you, you can journal or illustrate them as a family. You can really travel through Holy Week with Jesus, reflecting on the events of that first Easter. Perhaps you could begin a blessings book or kilner jar where everyone contributes one thought every day, and a prayer journal where you write down your prayers over the coming days, weeks,who knows,even months. Won’t it be great to look back at them when the world goes back to normal.

I’m not for one moment suggesting it will be easy, and though Ben and I have enjoyed our first home dayI know there will be days when we get on each other’s nerves, and when we are not as kind or patient as we should be. This is the time when social media could really show us its positive side, keeping us in touch, sharing our down times and our encouragements, reminding Us that we are the sons and daughters of the King, God is our Heavenly Father and He loves us and He knows our strengths and our weaknesses and our needs. God is still in control, God is sovereign, as we wash our hands instead of singing happy birthday lets say the Lord’s Prayer out loud.

The Salvation Army has initiated a wave of prayer at 12:00 noon every day, calling us to put our hands together in prayer, like the hands on the clock. It suggests we read aloud Psalm 91, claiming God’s protection over His world and His children. Ben and I did this this morning too, we went and sat in each landing in our apartment complex and rayed for the residents and all the staff, then we read Psalm 91 over each floor. We’re going to do this at least once a week. 

I wonder whether any of you are up for a little challenge, let’s journal through Psalm 91 and share our creations to encourage and uplift one another. Ben and I will have a go, and share our thoughts, it would be great if some of you do too, especially family efforts! Take care all, sending love and prayers,

Jane and Ben

Mum

The current need to isolate and spend time at home has made me think of my wonderful Mum. If she’d found herself in this situation (while still in good health)I have no doubt that she would have had the whole house decorated, made a few patch work quilts for babies cots, some rag dolls and written a few children’s stories.

If you ask any of her grandchildren one of the things they will tell you is how much fun she was, and how creative. She could conjure up a circus, a post office, a library, a theatre, pretty much anything out of an old shoe box and a couple of empty loo rolls. Her imagination, energy and enthusiasm were boundless, not to mention her frequent supply of treats to eat while creating.

Ben was very blessed to be able to spend a huge amount of time with his Grandma, and their relationship was beautiful to see, Grandad was usually there in the background responding with reasonable good grace to the constant “Tony, just find me...Tony just get us...”

My Mum was a one woman army and I’m sad to say I didn’t appreciate her anywhere near as much as I should have when I was younger; she was in her own quiet way impossible to live up to. However, now I become more and more aware of how much I learnt from her, my house will never (ever) be clean enough to live up to her standards but I’m a pretty decent cook and I’ve definitely inherited her creative genes to some degree. I wish she was still here for many reasons, but at this time she’d have been so amazing at making the best of things. Mum, thanks for all you did, and sorry I didn’t tell you nearly often enough how much I loved you and how proud I was (am) to be your daughter.

Blessed

I’ve had a lovely weekend. It was busy to say the least but I was blessed to celebrate my 65th birthday with my son Ben and many of my friends. I’ve journaled, enjoyed a lovely meal at a favourite restaurant, been treated to a traditional Iranian birthday dance and FaceTimed with my brother and sister-in-law, all in all a weekend of fun and fellowship.

As the date of what would have been my Father’s 90th birthday draws near I am so aware of how blessed I am to celebrate the completion of another year of life experiences and the beginning of a new one. I am also reminded of the many people whose life lives have been cut sadly short. Like so many I have lost friends and family members over the years, some at a tragically young age, others older but still earlier than might have been hoped for or expected.

As a woman of more mature years I have white hair, I have wrinkles (let’s  call them laughter lines), I have a few aches and pains and I’m definitely not exactly as limber as I used to be but I am to all intents and purposes fit and healthy, happy and secure and blessed to have a life of freedom and enough.

There are undeniably parts of my anatomy that are gravitationally challenged (enough said) and I am unequivocally of the “older”generation but I am not old, I am not ready for wrinkled stockings, tartan slippers with a pom-pom on the front or a fleecy nightie. I still wear jeans and tee shirts most of the time (comfort and practicality are the key to my wardrobe) and I still love Charlie Brown, Snoopy and Winnie the Pooh. 

I have filed the questionnaire about my need for older peoples services in my waste bin, along with the offer of home visits for sight and hearing tests. My extremities may be teetering on the verge of being slightly frayed but my mental faculties are still fully functioning (bar the occasional senior moment when I can’t remember why I entered a room). My sense of humour is still pretty much as it was when I was younger and I can still be reduced to helpless giggles by a banana skin moment.

 I certainly cannot be classed as an O.A.P. (you  actually have to get your pension to achieve that status) and though I am not embarrassed or ashamed of my age I have to confess to finding myself somewhat surprised to have attained such a lofty number, in my head I’m still somewhere between 18-30! In fact, my only regret is how long it takes to scroll down to find my birth year on line, that can be a little bit challenging and time consuming.

So, another year has been added to my tally and I look forward to all that this next year brings. I commit to living it to the full, I owe it to those who don’t share the privilege.

A year of firsts

Ben and I are currently experiencing a year of firsts. My lovely Dad passed away on May 31st 2019 and since that day we’ve had to cope with the first Father’s day, birthdays, Christmas and very soon first holiday without him. We’re now having to learn to enjoy all these celebrations without either Grandma or Grandad and I have to admit, its hard.

Grandma and Grandad may not be with us physically but they are most certainly not forgotten, wherever we go, whatever we do Ben is quick to remind me that we took Grandad here, or we went there with Grandma and Grandad. Even if we go somewhere new we think about how much they would have enjoyed it. This year is a year of fairly landmark celebrations, Dad would have been 90, Ben will be 30 in August and even I have a reasonably special birthday as I hit 65 in March.

To mark Grandad’s 90th birthday Ben and I are going away to a beautiful bungalow/cottage on Anglesey, we travel on March 21st which would have been his big day. I’m sure we’re going to have a wonderful time and we are looking forward to it but it brings a shadow of sadness as it will be the first holiday planned and undertaken on our own.

Our loved ones may no longer be with us in the real world but there is no doubt that they are still very much part of our daily lives. When you have been blessed to have loving parents, family and friends they remain very present in your hearts, memories, photographs, souvenirs all help to keep them alive and  valued.

Ben and I are so fortunate to have so many happy, beautiful memories of his Grandma and Grandad, their generosity, love, support and encouragement throughout the years, even in the midst of their personal battles with chronic ill health is forever imprinted on our hearts. We take them with us everywhere we go (not literally!) and we like to imagine them reunited and enjoying watching us now.

We miss them both desperately and sometimes the sadness can be overwhelming but we are so fortunate to have had them as our Mum, Dad,Grandma, Grandad.

Finding my get up and go

It’s been a long time since I’ve properly put pen to paper or indeed finger(s) to a keyboard. My good intentions and my plans to get myself back into the writing swing haven’t somehow managed to move from meaningless promises to actuality. However, today (note the date, 1/3/2020) I have actually succeeded in finding my blogspot page and far more noteworthy (see what I did there!) managed to find the correct password to allow me to access it. So far so good.

I do enjoy writing and not so many months (years) ago would happily sit down to a notebook with my fountain pen (biros just don’t cut it) or in front of my laptop but after the disappointment of my brief sojourn in the land of being a published author (not all publishers are good ones!) I found myself wordless, unmotivated, frustrated and more than a little sorry for myself. Instead of writing for the pleasure of playing with words I found myself stopping off in the little village called “What’s the point?) My get up and go as a lover of language had got up and gone.

Having been fortunate enough to benefit (just a small amount) from a PPI refund I splashed out on a super-duper mountain bike trike for my son Ben to help him exercise more and as of yesterday I became the proud (actually incredibly irritated and frustrated) owner of a new iPad Pro, Let  me just say technology is not high on my skill set list, I’m good at what I can do and I’m ok with things I’m used to but I’m really not good with new technology and updates. Many are the  battles I’ve  had with young, enthusiastic assistants in Curry’s PC World when I’ve wearily tried to tell them I don’t want the newest all singing and  dancing version because I’m happy with what I have, and can actually use! I’m proud and somewhat shocked that I now seem to have my tablet up and running, I have accessed my blog, I’ve got Word and a printer installed and my Bluetooth keyboard has connected and is working (thank you Gary Lacey!) the only possible blip on my so far cloudless horizon is that even with the help of the technologically savvy Gary Lacey we have been unable to break down the impregnable barrier that is installing Facebook. I have it on my phone so I’m trusting that when I attempt to post this on Facebook  it will work. (If it doesn’t there may well be a toddler standard temper tantrum happening in my vicinity.)

To cut a rather circuitous story short, I am hoping I have found my wandering get up and go. I will again do something that I enjoy and that helps me focus my mind (which has an alarming propensity for wandering off into the wilderness) I may be the only person who reads my ramblings but if any of you out there do decide to join me, thank you!

Now, fingers and toes crossed, here comes the save  and post bit, I hope to see you on the other side!