Well hello

It’s me, not Ben, I changed the title of this blog for Ben, now I’ve finally managed to set up his own blog but I’m sticking with Downs my way for mine.

It’s been an interesting year, some difficult months but now we are back to living joyfully and abundantly. We’re blessed to have been supported by some amazing people, both friends and professionals. 

Ben is now happily back at his groups at  Down Syndrome Cheshire and has enjoyed some lovely days with his support worker  Sarah.. He’s had another exciting trip to London representing the National Down  Syndrome Policy Group in the company of the amazing Julie Duff.

His dream was to establish himself on social media platforms to advocate for people with Down  Syndrome of all ages. With my support and the technical expertise of the staff and volunteers at  Down  Syndrome Cheshire he now has a Facebook, Instagram and YouTube profile and his own blog. 

I am reminded that dark days don’t last for ever and good things can come out of hard times. We’ll both be trying to build a regular routine of sharing our adventures (and mishaps!) At the moment we are unable to share photos but all being well we will solve this problem (with help)

I’m testing fonts so if you find this one annoying or difficult to read just let me know. Baby steps!

 

 Testing estimate testing

Teamwork makes the dream work!

Test 2! I’ve changed the name of my blog but I’m not sure if it’s done the trick

Ben is Back

 Hello! It’s been a very long time but me and Mum have had a lot of problems trying to get me back on my blog. This is a little test to see if it works.☀

We can’t get pictures yet but Mum says we’ll keep trying if this first bit works.

Fingers crossed👍

Ben

Well, it's the second week in January 2025!, how has that happened? I seem to have had a sleep on Christmas Eve and woken up in January. Ben and I have had a lovely if quiet Christmas, we also had our usual in bed before midnight on New Year's Eve. Surprisingly we weren't kept awake by endless fireworks, something to be grateful for!

We actually haven't been out since last Saturday choosing to stay at home in the warm. what with torrential rain, gales, snow, sleet and ice (and every variable in between) we've chosen to enjoy reading, playing games journaling, crafting and binge watching some lovely box sets on TV. 

Shortly before Christmas we had new neighbours move into the apartment next door, we have already become good friends and have enjoyed several visits next door for coffee, cake and chats. Ben is really looking forward to his groups starting again at the DSC Hub in Northwich, this weeks session was cancelled because of the awful weather conditions.

 As you may have already deduced i have not much of great import to share in this blog, to be entirely honest I am trying to get to grips with my somewhat updated laptop and break through the barrier preventing me from putting words on a page. This year we chose not to make new year "revolutions" as Ben calls them, or set ridiculous and usually unattainable challenges. We felt led to a word to lead us through this year, "enJOY", we are going to consciously and intentionally look for the joy in the every day,  the mundane, the little daily miracles that we so often miss in the hustle and bustle of life. then we are going to enjoy them and put them in a JOY JAR..

Sunrises, sunsets, cloud formations the first buds bursting through, that first cup of coffee, an unexpected message from a friend, a delicious meal, the feel of clean sheets, a hot shower...so many "little" things that we can so easily take for granted. Let's face it, we are living in turbulent, worrying, frightening, even dangerous times, there seems to be a never ending cycle of bad news so lets, when we can, stop, take pause and hold tight to the little moments of beauty, love and hope.

My prayer is for us all to find shelter in the small moments, to find moments of peace and hope, and in these moments to find the strength to stand against the darkness that sometimes feels overwhelming 

 

Fun and friends

 

It’s another Monday morning, and another morning at the Down Syndrome Cheshire Hub in Northwich. Suffice it to say Ben starts counting down the days from the moment we leave for home. This place is definitely his happy place. 

This morning Ben and three of his friends have gone out for the morning with two of the amazing volunteers who work with them every week and a member of staff. Ben assures me they are working, going to the library, shopping for the ingredients for the meal they will be cooking for everyone next week and then stopping for a coffee (I did hear the word cake mentioned!)

In computer terms a hub is (and I quote) “a small rectangular, inexpensive device that joins multiple devices, its purpose is to form a single network whereby all devices can communicate directly with each other.”

The DSC HUb is this in human form, and so much more. First and foremost it is a place where anyone with Down Syndrome from new born to infinity can come and feel welcome, safe, valued, respected and loved. It is a place where friendships are forged and skills and abilities are recognised and encouraged.

It is also a centre of excellence in terms of being a place people can turn to for support, information, advice and understanding. There are regular sessions involving external agencies which people can attend about issues specific to and of interest to them whether it be speech and language therapy, educational provision or planning for the future.

For Ben and the many new friends he has made it is place where he has fun (with bells on) where he learns new skills and where he has opportunities to excel, (his gift of the gab has been noted! There is a huge variety of sessions and activities  which meet the interests of all ages and abilities and make it possible for families to enjoy activities together.

It is also a place where we can learn from our young people. The encouragement and appreciation they show to one another is humbling, they never miss an opportunity to praise one another for any achievement and are genuinely delighted in one another’s successes, talents and victories.

We are so very fortunate to have this amazing charity in our midst, they are a shining example of what can be achieved with a shared vision, a shared passion and a shared heart to work for the people they care about so much, all I can say is thank you, format the bottom of my heart  

Times they are a changing

Above is a little pastiche of my son Ben, ranging form seven months to about twenty nine years of age.

This is the most current photo I have of Ben, aged thirty three (nearly thirty four I can hear him shout!)

It's fair to say he's changed a bit but I think anyone who knew him years ago would still recognise him. From the day I brought him home from his foster Mum in Bath on December 4th 1990 I can say without fear of being accused of exaggeration that he has enriched my life. Not to say he hasn't aged me way beyond the thirty four years we've been together, and I certainly blame him for my head of pure white hair!

This selfie (not really part of my skill set) was taken yesterday as we prepared to watch the final of the Euros. We're still smiling and still I'm happy to say enjoy each others company. He's been responsible for many, many sleepless nights over the years for a variety of reasons but has also been (and still is) responsible for much laughter. It's rather like living with the cast of thousands from an old Cecil B De Mille film (showing my age!) his ability to throw together a costume and assume the identity of a film or TV character just from his wardrobe (and occasionally mine) is amazing. There have been so many dramatic entrances to our living room, unannounced but if he has disappeared for five minutes with talking then I can be fairly sure I'm about to receive a visitation.

When we finally ventured out after the covid restrictions lifted life had moved on without us, or so it seemed. I have to admit I had erred on the side of over caution, in fact we pretty much stayed in isolation for around eighteen months. (mind you, neither of us have had covid...so far) we had lost touch with many of the groups and activities we used to be involved with so life was fairly quiet. In around September 2023 we found our way to Down Syndrome Cheshire in Northwich.

Life has changed! Ben has found a place where he has made some wonderful friends, found a place where he shines and is accepted and where his gift of the gab has been recognised and utilised! He is now Chairman of the I Choose Board which meets twice a month and is a forum for adults (from 18+) to have a voice and express their hopes, choices, worries and expectations. He's been to 10 Downing Street!

He's a regular contributor to the new That Down Syndrome Podcast (I may have to change my name) and he's finally decided he quite likes having a go at some cooking and baking. He works alongside amazing volunteers and some of his peers on Monday mornings, at the DSC Hub, he's really enjoying painting some concrete planters for their garden project at the moment and he and his friends have planned the project and worked out the budget with the assistance of Julia and Colin. Another favourite activity is when they choose a meal to cook for everybody, they choose their recipe, budget, shop then finally at the end of the month they cook.

I can't praise or thank this truly amazing charity enough, they've brightened our weeks and we both feel so welcome and cared for. Ben is so happy that he decided he wanted to do a fundraiser as a gesture of his gratefulness so Monday July 8th he began his sponsored cycle challenge. 21 minutes every day for three weeks. (I'll explain the significance of the numbers next time.

Not my usual style of blog but I just wanted to find a way to share this incredible group of people, you can follow them on Facebook at Down Syndrome Cheshire and the website has the same title. I'm off now to inspect todays painting, not sure how much Ben has got on to the planters as he's just walked past and he is covered in magnolia paint! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

On a roll

If any one has read any of my past wordy rambles through life you will be aware that technology and I are not friends! I sometimes think I may actually be allergic to all things computer. I remember fondly the days when you simply turned something on and it would work, no fuss, no emotional meltdowns, no need to follow 300 pages of instructions and enter and re-enter long lines of letters, numbers, and symbols reminiscent pf the value of Pi!

The fountain pens above remain and always will remain my favourite method of transferring the words from my head on to paper. I'm fortunate that my handwriting is generally quite neat and legible but the thing I like most is that when I write by hand I tend to spell things correctly and punctuate correctly. Keyboards are my mortal enemy, I detest predictive text (though I must confess the randomness of its suggestions can sometimes be the cause of great hilarity) I am by no means a good typist, I didn't do typing at school and I've never mastered  using a keyboard ( and I sincerely doubt I ever will) It takes me so much longer to type anything because I have to keep going back to edit when I see a missed capital letter or a spelling mistake, it slows me down and interrupts my somewhat butterfly thoughts.

My dislike of technology is not purely for computers, though when I think about it pretty much everything we use on a day to day basis is computer based. We recently got a new TV as the old one could no longer synchronise sound and image, quite entertaining for a while but not good for any length of time. Honestly you need a degree in computer sciences to even switch the wretched thing on! Once you have actually managed to link it to your broadband etc you then have to download channels, you have to sign in to access anything, you have to have a password, for some sites it is absolutely impossible as the screens don't do what they're supposed to do, add to that navigating everything, very often you get to the end and press yes or whatever and it goes back to the beginning!                     
i have to confess (again) that much as I enjoy the vast range of channels, apps like Spotify, You Tube and such like I sometimes hanker for the simplicity of my childhood, limited hours, three channels, if you missed a programme you missed it  (and the world didn't end) and you got your steps in getting up to change the channels. My final rant against all things computer techy relates to how many simple activities can no longer be done in person, pretty much everything has to be done on line from driving licences to passports and all things in between. I am relatively intelligent and I can with, luck turn  my computer on but I find myself overwhelmed with the demands of on line form filling.

I wonder what would (will) happen on the day when technology crashes completely, no access to money, no way to pay, no access to medical records, the list goes on, bring back pen and paper I say, at least as an alternative to the dreaded technology!

 

It’s been a while…

 

It’s taken me about twenty five minutes to sign in so far, and it’s been a while as the website reminded me! Life has moved on and is pretty much back to normal or what passes for normal for Ben and I. We’re busy again, some with the Salvation Army as of old but more with Down Syndrome Cheshire, an amazing local charity that entered our lives around October

Ben has thrown himself into everything on offer with enthusiasm and delight, his highlight (so far) being a visit to 10 Downing Street on March 21st this year, World Down Syndrome Day. He’s also attended a charity awards night (and three course dinner!) given a speech at our Annual General Meeting and is chairman of the I Choose board. 

If you know Ben personally he will no doubt have told you (more than once) that he will very soon be celebrating his 34th birthday! (How’s that happened?) He’s looking forward to bowling with some friends from DSC then  a trip to the Shire horse centre followed by a night at a hotel, evening meal and full English breakfast in the morning. (I mention these details as they are very high on Ben’s criteria for a good day!)

This is just a tentative, toe dipping attempt into getting myself back into writing again. I have a few techy hurdles to overcome with such things as emails on my iPad and other such trivia but I’m hoping to get myself sorted and a little more proactive and productive in the coming weeks. Watch this space…

Happiness is...

 Happiness is...many things, different things, it sometimes feel tantalisingly out of reach; often fragile and transient. It is very different from joy, happiness tends (in my opinion) to be more dependant on circumstances, people, places, and it changes over time, what made us happy as a child may not be where we find our happiness as an adult.

My happiness comes from all things stationery and book related, I am most definitely not safe to be left unsupervised in either a book shop or a stationery shop. My delight in beautiful fountain pens, gorgeous notebooks and journals, coloured pens, pencils, pencil cases, journaling ephemera, stickers and  washie tape is at best childlike!

It is an obsession I have inadvertently passed on to Ben, my son. We could stock an average sized shop between us (not that we would ever be able to sell any of our precious goodies) we both spend many happy hours colouring, writing, reading and journaling. During the first lengthy covid lockdown I began keeping a daily journal and over the course of the next two years filled three journals with daily accounts, photos, sketches, collages, stories, poems and hopes and fears. They are like old friends now, bulging in their collection of memories of an extraordinary time in our lives.

Music, dancing, nature, gardens, family, friends, food, all these can bring happiness, what makes one person happy may be of little importance to another. indeed, what makes one person happy can actually be an irritation to someone else, Ben is at his happiest while he is colouring and listening to musicals, his enthusiasm is delightful, his singing along with gusto not so much.

Happiness does not need to cost a fortune, it can be found in the little unexpected or surprising events of the day to day. The sudden glory of  a rainbow filling the sky, the appearance of an inquisitive little blue tit on our balcony, the smell of our evening meal escaping from the slow cooker, a tiny ladybird on a leaf, the incredible detail in the smallest flower, the sound of a friends voice on the phone, or a new box of crayons!

We may not be living the life we hoped for or dreamed of, we may be in the middle of circumstances which are crushing, hurting, overwhelming;  happiness may seem an unattainable, even inappropriate response but if we can just keep our eyes, ears, minds and hearts open to the little things perhaps, just perhaps we may still suddenly find the darkness lightened , momentarily.

I've decided that Ben and I are going to start a happiness journal from now to Christmas, every day we will jot down one thing from the day which made us happy, maybe on the days when we are struggling with life we can look through these and be reminded of the good things that happen even on the dark days.

     

It’s been a while!

 

Hello! It’s been a while! I think I can say without fear of being accused of exaggeration that quite a lot has changed since I last wrote a blog. A global pandemic…who’d have thought?

Ben and went into lockdown on March 16th 2020 along with much of the world, we had to quickly negotiate the world of online shopping (not something I’d ever really done) and I had to hone my tech skills rapidly as I’m the sort of person who can order a match box and end up with a garden shed, or vice versa!

We stayed at home for close on eighteen months with only the occasional early morning ninja trip out for a coffee, or a visit to get vaccinated. We grew used to staying at home and found ways to keep ourselves healthy, happy and entertained.

We planned a virtual weekend away at the seaside, and even went on a virtual holiday to Amsterdam, boat trip and cycle ride included! We watched far too much TV, journaled, listened to music, had craft sessions discovered the joys (and tribulations) of Zoom, and moved most of our furniture around several times ( much to Bens dismay) 

We’ve danced in the rain on our balcony, had film nights sleeping in the living room and have been blessed by FaceTimes, WhatsApp chats and phone calls. Unfortunately, the only skill I acquired during this time is the ability to bake, rather well! The cakes, biscuits, muffins and cookies have I admit been delicious but the damage to our hard earned slimmer selves has been significant! We’ve vicariously enjoyed following friends holidays at home and abroad through photos and videos until, finally…

…In June 2022 we finally went on a little two nights away holiday of our own in a Hobbit Hole! It was short but we packed a lot into our days and were blessed  by absolutely superb weather.

We’re now venturing out and about and have enjoyed a couple of birthday gatherings, DEN (our Bible Journaling group) and Cafe Church, we’ve had lots of coffee dates and the odd breakfast out, all greatly enjoyed. We remain slightly cautious choosing to wear our masks and not meeting with others in crowded indoor spaces. All in all the last two and a half years have treated us well, we’ve stayed busy in our own way and have been blessed by all those many people who worked so tirelessly to keep us safe.

We were not stuck at home, we were fortunate enough to be able to stay at home, and blessed to have a lovely home. 

As the world continues to go “back to normal” (whatever that was) I hope we can hold on to some of the lessons we learned, particularly relating to those people who have been housebound for years for whatever reason. All of a sudden, church, theatre, cinema became accessible for most people (technology permitting) I wonder now how many  of these services will be discontinued now that the general population can once again go out and about, the isolated, unwell, lonely forgotten once again?

Journaling, all seasons, all reasons

“To journal” a daily record of news and events of a personal nature.

“Bible Journaling” May seem like a new found art trend, but it is in fact ancient...Bible journalers are documenting in words and pictures the messages they hear from God, testimonies in their lives and creative worship of the Lord they love.

“Bible journaling” is an exciting way to engage with Scripture...the beauty of the movement is this; it doesn’t require a skilled artist!

You can find these definitions if you google journaling or Bible journaling, there are pages of definitions, how to starts, where to starts, and what you need guides, we’re officially “ a thing!” How good is that?

Although Bible journaling in particular may be new to you (if so, welcome!) it really isn’t, if you look at the medieval illustrated Bibles, gospels, hymnals and Psalters they are awash with beautiful, sacred (and sometimes rather risky, cheeky) imagery. They were intended to illuminate not just the page but the meaning of the verses. Possibly the “new” part is the huge array of different Bibles and materials now available for us to dig deeper into Scripture and press deeper into a relationship with the Lord we do indeed love.

Journaling itself has also been around for as long as people have been able to read and write and and have had access to materials to write in or on. Samuel Pepys, John Bunyan, Anne Frank, Geoffrey Chaucer, Gerald of Wales, all kept journals of their daily lives, experiences or travels and from them we glean not just facts but a sense of being there, the atmosphere at the time. They didn’t just record facts but wrote them from their own personal persepectives.

Record keeping, in hospital, care homes, schools, churches, businesses is essentially journaling, laying down a record of events through time which can be read, re-read and referred to in future times.

Journaling from our perspective can take many forms and it offers something beneficial, encouraging, uplifting, inspiring and as a reminder, for all seasons in our lives and for all reasons. I have four main ways of journaling that I use daily (not all of them every day, but at least one) The first is Bible Journaling which led me to this amazing group some five or more years ago.

These are some pages from my first Journaling Bible which is now almost full, it is by no means filled with perfect lettering, drawing, painting or “tip ins” it has pages where ink has bled through, it has pages where I’ve spelt a word wrong and it has pages where I’ve actually stuck my thoughts in by the wrong verse! The page at the bottom right is my Hannah Dunnet journaling Bible, I wasn’t even going to begin to try to illustrate in this so I’ve used it to journal in a different way, it accompanies me to our Sunday morning worship and I journal throughout the service. I’ve made myself use my Pritt marker so I can’t become precious about it being perfect. Actually, I think that’s a very important point, perfectionism is not necessary! What matters is our heart attitude, our spending time in what is an act of worship, and our seeking truth and guidance and purpose from time in the Word and with God.

These are my first two prayer journals, now full and impossible to close, I find it is hugely helpful for me to write my prayers down, especially those which aren’t necessarily about a specific need  or circumstance, more times when I’m just sharing my heart with the Lord. When I’m not really sure where to start I will make a very simple collage, I don’t plan it, or lay it out, I literally throw together things that come to hand in my stash! This is often the jump start I need as a picture or image or thought is triggered by what I see on the page.

These are a couple of pages from my current prayer journal, the image on the left was purely by accident as I simply spread smears of colours of the rainbow across my page, I could immediately see a sonogram, but in colour, not the usual black and white. It reminded me that just as a sonogram can often be little more than a vague blurry shape, our lives can often seem a little undefined and unclear, but God sees every day and every iota of potential in us just as he sees every day and every iota of potential in a blurry sonogram image. I was reminded that our vision is so restricted by our limited and finite human perspective, we must look to the world through the infinite and all seeing eyes of God.

This is my “lockdown journal” which I had started at the beginning of February but with little effort or commitment. Ben and I have self isolated now for ten and a half weeks and I challenged myself to write something every day for as long as we stay at home. This journal has morphed and adapted over the weeks, a rainbow series of paragraphs for the every day, a record of our special days and activities, a virtual travel and holiday journal and a things that will become part of history like the letter from Boris. There are three cards stuck in with lovely written notes from Ben and photographs of some our weird and wonderful daft days. I’m quite chuffed to say I think I’ve only missed one day where I didn’t do anything at all in my journal. The great thing is that Ben was inspired to begin his own which he also does daily. They will be something to look back on in the future.

My final journal; this is my “Art journal” where I simply doodle, play and create, just for the fun of creating. Unlike my lovely friends who have shared some video demonstrations teaching and their amazing skills and artistic talents I am not an artist, my skills if I have any lie more with words and an ability to have a go without stressing too much about reaching the awesome standards of others.

This is my latest method of journaling, digital journaling. I’m having such fun playing on my iPad learning new skills and trying out new technology. It’ll never be as good a writing with a fountain pen, or playing with paint, gelli plates or stamps, but you can create some fun effects and dip in and out of writing, typing, drawing and inserting photographs. There’s a journal out there for everyone!

Journaling is such a wonderful way of expressing yourself, personally, spiritually, artistically and creatively. There is now right or wrong, there is no good or bad, there is now brilliant or rubbish, it’s between you and your God, and between you and your journal, enjoy!

Positivity

How ya doin’? Life is far from normal just now, as we keep being told, we are living in an unprecedented situation. We are locked down, locked in, locked out of our normal day to activities. Or are we? Remember school history lessons, remember the bubonic plague, that too was a a global catastrophe, entire  families, villages and towns wiped out by the dreaded sweating sickness. 

I am not belittling the impact this enforced isolation is having and I’m aware that I am fortunate that I have my son, Ben with me so I’m not alone. I’m also sensitive to the greater impact on the elderly who may not have access to iPads, smart phones, Facebook, YouTube and now Zoom to help maintain contact with loved ones and the outside world. When the plague struck there was no technology, very limited access to medical care and very little knowledge of bacteriology, germs, hygiene etc, and yet when the village of Eyam in Derbyshire found themselves infected (through receipt of a parcel of clothing from London) they made the decision to close off their village, allowing no one to enter or to leave, they somehow came to the conclusion that the only way to stop this pestilence spreading further was to enforce complete isolation. As in the current situation good, caring people came to the rescue, food, milk, ale, herbs were left daily at a safe distance from the village to support the stricken. 

We have been asked to isolate ourselves in our homes, we have been asked to forgo socialising face to face for a limited period of time (which will lengthen the more some people refuse to comply with such a simple instruction) in order to try to slow and eradicate the spread of this vicious virus. I cannot comprehend the mentality of those who deliberately flout these guidelines, congregating on beaches, in parks, having parties and barbecues. I cannot comprehend how they can live with the fact that their wilful non compliance might cause someone’s death and is throwing the courage and self sacrifice of key workers from all backgrounds back in their faces.

We have been blessed by some beautiful sunny days and spring is making its presence known, even from our windows most of us can see something to cheer us, blossom on trees, bulbs popping up, birds singing. Our damaged world has begun to heal, clean rivers, dolphins and fish returning to rivers, stars shining more brightly in the sky because of less pollution in the atmosphere. Even the ozone layer is healing!

This virus is brutal, many have sadly lost loved ones from its ravages and many more will do so in the days and weeks to come but I’m trying to focus on the glimmers of hope, the good news stories, the blessings that are being experienced at this time. People are recovering, amazing stories of selfless and compassionate people coming together to support the most vulnerable, schools providing fantastic support and encouragement to their pupils, authors and athletes and musicians making creative and healthy activities available through the internet. 

Ben and I took part in the nationwide clap for the NHS but we need to be applauding all key workers who are continuing in their roles so that we can stay at home. I know isolation may be harder for some than others but in the grand scheme of things it’s not too much to ask. 

I am aware that sadly for some being isolated puts them at greater risk than usual, not all families are loving or gentle, not all families will find it easy to feed themselves when they are all at home for an extended period of time. Even worse is the situation for those unfortunate enough to be homeless. 

I’m not preaching, judging or criticising, just suggesting that perhaps we can focus on the positives in our own personal situations. Count your blessings, jot them down, keep them in a box, notebook or jar and when this is finally over and the world returns to normal take them out and remind yourselves.

One thing I truly hope and pray for is that when we do eventually leave our homes, go back to work, school, church, meet up with our friends  and families we do not allow ourselves to forget what we have learned about what and who is important to our world.

Clutter is utter joy

This is my idea of joy, everything needed for a spot of Bible Journaling, creative playing, card making or indeed anything arty. I regularly have manic organising blitzes on my desk, sorting, gathering, coordinating, preparing my perfect work/play space. The trouble is my creativity seems to be swallowed up by my meticulous purposing of my many pens, crayons, pencils, paints,scissors,glues, papers, washy tapes...(I could go on, but you get the picture) I get everything perfect (at that moment) then get sidetracked and two months later my beautiful arrangement has done no more than gather dust. By the time I gather my creative juices and settle to use some of many arty products I simply think of a better way of organising my space and the whole cycle begins again.

I’ve shared in a previous blog my awesome talent for procrastination and I guess this is just a different manifestation of the same. I seem to have a distressingly well developed ability to put off, defer, avoid or plain ignore things on my ever increasing “To Do List” It’s a frustrating and annoying character flaw which I can’t  seem to break no matter how hard I try. Fortunately (or perhaps not) my eleventh hour, panic riddled efforts have so far always achieved what was necessary and its doubtful anyone else would be aware of my last minute activities.

I set up my new iPad Pro on Saturday (after a few mumbled, less than genteel  grumbles and rumbles) and I am proud to say that in some small way I have breached the hump! I have now written three blogs in two days so I’m building a little bank to share from time to time. I have become acutely aware that I am very much an “all or nothing” personality type. I either produce notebooks of journaling pages in a matter of weeks, write every day or I do nothing more than think about journaling or writing. I need to find the balance between feverish activity and sloth like inertia, and I need to overcome my phobia of “paperwork” (even the words make me shudder) I wish I could just deal with things as they come instead of my usual response which is to put it to one side to deal  with later. All I achieve is more and more sleepless nights  as I worry about all I need to do.

Let’s hope that my fairy footsteps back into writing lead me to becoming more proactive in all my daily tasks. Who knows, maybe my “To Do List” will actually grow shorter as I tick some items off and scribble “Done” over them with a big red Sharpie. 

Randomness!

Well, it certainly wasn’t the best of times, and she hoped it wouldn’t prove to be the worst of times, but she could possibly make the claim that it was the strangest of times. The dream holiday for her son and herself had somehow morphed from a dream come to true to a little bit of a nightmare. Not the monsters and zombies sort of nightmare, but the I can’t  believe this is happening, I’ll  wake up in a minute type.
The beautiful holiday cottage had become their safe haven, their den. A weeks holiday had now become an enforced stay, who knew for how long, but now wasn’t the time for moaning or being negative, now was the time to make preparations and an assessment of their situation.

First the cupboards, what a surprise, not exactly her idea of  nutritious ingredients but blancmange and chocolate were a start at least. If you thought about it they did cover a few of the main food groups, strawberry flavour for fruit and veg and chocolate contained dairy, that was two off the list! The fridge revealed a reason for celebration, bacon! She’d brought eggs and some baked beans from home so a veritable feast of protein,carbs, dairy and fruit lay before her.

Now, to include her son in the preparations, step one divert from the negative and look for the positives, she found the book of “Common English flowers” and together they went to look out over the sheltered garden at the back of the cottage. The hydrangeas were easy to spot and recognise, they’d been great grandma’s favourites after all. Ben was sure the other large patch of flowering beauty were camellias, she wasn’t sure but in the great scheme of things she thought botanical accuracy was less important than being together and making the best of things. Over the fence and across the fields they could see the mountains; majestic, imposing and so beautiful. They could live with waking up to this view in the morning, and going to sleep at night with them in mind.

She heard a voice and looking out towards the little lane beside the cottage she saw the farmer from across the fields, he had his trusty sheepdog with him.He held up a piece of paper, “Write a list of what you need and I’ll leave it outside the door later.” She swallowed down a sudden lump in her throat, and signed a heart with her hands, they’d be ok, they weren’t completely alone.

An afternoon of jigsaws, DVDs and a bit of art work and then suddenly it was bath time, Ben loved the huge roll top bath and spent some time luxuriating in the bubbles, a real treat as their apartment had only a shower. Leaving him eating blancmange and chocolate in front on the TV she too enjoyed a bath, a  fluffy warm towel and clean pyjamas were all that was need to settle in for a cosy evening, then, catastrophe. She could see in her mind’s eye where she’d  left the moisturiser, on the dressing table, waiting to be scooped up into the bag of toiletries. A momentary flash of irritation crossed her mind. Then she sighed, well, if that’s the only thing we’ll have to forgo it won’t  be too bad.

They made their way to their beds, warm, comfortable, fed, happy and safe. Now to wait for the resurgence of normality.
Jane

Look for the rainbows

Look for the rainbows! Rainbows are one of my favourite things in all creation, Ben and I always look for them if there’s the smallest hint of rain and sunshine. They are, as well as being achingly beautiful, a reminder that often the best things in life are a cautiously balanced mix of the good and the bad. 

Take, I cringe at the word, take dieting! I’m pretty sure that most of if not not all of us in this group have spent a significant part of our lives jumping from one unrealistic and unsustainable diet to another, our weight moving up and down in a way which would thrill a world champion yo-yo player.

We avidly sought the next great diet, the next guaranteed way to lose our weight and find that illusive beach body (FYI I always had a beach body, its just that mine was a beached whale!)

Then, Ben and I found  the Fast 800, and you wonderful people. The next picture is our starting picture, back in October 2019, I was 15st 2lbs, Ben was 11st 6lbs.

Fast forward five and a half months and Ben is now 8st 7lbs and I am under 12st (even if only by a smidgeon). I’ve  learned that there are three aspects to the little word “Fast.”

1) Fast, as in speedy, rapid. When you first start this new way of eating the weight loss is startling and so encouraging, sticking to your plans, preparing, unlearning decades of misguided (and downright stupid) information leads to satisfying rewards, both in terms of actual weight loss and the amazing changes that happen to your bodies. 

2) Fast, as in fasting, giving your body time to actually digest and utilise the nutrients you are now carefully putting in to it.

3) Fast, and maybe you can’t anticipate this one, but as in stick to, adhere to, staying on course, embracing this new wonderful way of eating and way of living.

This is Ben and I today, a pleasing amount of weight lost (hopefully never to return) and bodies we are no longer ashamed of, nor limited by because of countless aches and pains. We are still sticking to the principles, particularly our TRE which is generally eating between10:30 am and 4:30 pm, but we are now at a point where we don’t have a mini meltdown because for some reason we have to adapt. We don’t measure and weigh so much and we don’t really calorie count because over the last few months we (well me really) have learned to make sensible and now almost instinctive healthy choices. 

For my birthday weekend a couple of weeks ago, (65) we did deviate, we had birthday cake, we had cupcakes ( our absolute favourites from a local farm shop) we had a couple of meals out and we chose what we wanted, not what we should have chosen. News Flash! The world didn’t end and in fact my frustrating 12st 1lb plateau was passed two weeks later. This weekend we should have been happily settled in a beautiful cottage on Anglesey for our first holiday alone, sadly that was not to be so we’ve ordered from our local farm shop, we’ve got some lovely fresh food to cook with and a couple of healthy ready meals for ease, and we’ve had the cupcakes again, but, you know what, Ben’s just said, “I’m not that bothered anymore Mum, they’re too sweet!”

For those of you at the beginning of this new chapter in finding your new healthy you, keep at it, it works, and most important, its not a diet (I whispered that) because there is nothing you can’t eat, and there are no sins! Just revised and healthier choices. Welcome to the biggest group of losers, you’ll love it and your body and health will love you for it.

Just before I go, had to share this happy little soul, a quokka! Smile!

Jane

Mother's Day

On this morning mothers across the country are enjoying the delights of tea and toast in bed, bunches of flowers, boxes of chocolates, works of art filled with smudges and scribbles and hand-made cards telling them they are loved.

As the adoptive mum of a son, Ben, who is nearly thirty (his words!) Mother's Day is doubly precious. I love the beautiful notes that he writes to me and the thoughtful little gift (carefully suggested by myself) he gives me. I've even had the occasional glass of fresh orange juice and a cookie in bed!

For me, Mother's day is a two layered celebration because it is also a day in the year when I can thank my Heavenly Father for the most precious gift, entrusting a tiny, vulnerable baby boy into my care and love. I feel a bond with the likes of Sarah, Elizabeth and Hannah in the Old Testament because like them Father God blessed me with a child and made me a mother against all the odds.

Mother's Day is indeed a day of celebration, but, sadly, for many it a day which is far from joyous. Mothers who lost their babies or children (no matter how old), mothers who gave up their babies or children because they were unable to care for them themselves, mothers who lost touch with their children and long to hear their voice or receive a letter through the post.

There are children for whom Mother's Day is a sad reminder of neglect, cruelty, abandonment. Giving birth undeniably makes you a mother, it doesn't in my opinion make you a mum, it certainly doesn't make you a good mum. This leads to my final thought on this day of celebration. there are many women across the country for whom motherhood has not been possible, but who have, nonetheless been beautiful, inspiring and much loved second mums to many of us. I have personally been blessed to have some amazing and wonderful women in  my life who have been there for me, and now for Ben, loving me, encouraging me, challenging me and just holding me when times have been hard. These women are mums in every sense of the word that matters and their part in so many of our lives is invaluable.

Motherhood is not a right, but it is a blessing and a joy whatever form it may take. Birth mum, adoptive mum, foster mum. step mum, surrogate mum, second mum, grand mum! All have a part to play in nurturing, loving and caring for the next generation(s)